1200: Read Derrida. Begin to question reality and mutter “Differance!” in inappropriate situations. “Nihilists! … I mean, say what you want about the tenets of National Socialism, Dude, at least it’s an ethos.” (The Big Lebowski) Morphine injection imminent.
1300: My best friend tells me in a letter from home (text) about her tests in nursing school. I write back and tell her about 15-20 page papers. Even in the midst of her anatomy and physiology class she writes back two words: “oh (rhymes with Lit)!”
1400: Veteran reminds me of Hydra and how cutting off the head just makes another grow in its place. I realize that the Greeks may have been grad students, and the “gods” may have been professors giggling in Olympus.
1430: “The possibility of physical and mental collapse is now very real. No sympathy for the Devil, keep that in mind. Buy the ticket, take the ride.” (Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas)
1500: Some really good music received from a pal in the trenches. Get a hug. Spirits temporarily lifted. “I might disintegrate into the thin air, if you’d like / I’m not the dark center of the universe, like you thought. Well it took a lot of work to be the ass that I am and I’m real damn sure that anyone can equally, easily…” (Modest Mouse).
1700: ANOTHER assignment added to my pile. Not sure whether to head to liquor cabinet, medicine cabinet or meditate and do some yoga to deal with anxiety and anger resulting from this surprise attack. Decide on two of the above (yoga first, though a different order might be more fun).
1730: I inhale food and forget that food is supposed to have a taste. I remember that sometimes food is not wrapped in foil and Kind Bars, pretzels and candy aren’t a normal dinner.
1900: Jacques Lacan. MEDIC!
2100: I waste a few minutes of my precious nonexistent time thinking about a precious nonexistent paper that would involve Labyrinth, Zelda, Hunter S. Thompson and T. Rex (the band, not the dinosaur).
2200: I wish that I was Wordsworth’s “Solitary Reaper”. Just sickling and singing mournfully. Realize I’m doing that already, and it’s very metaphorical but not romantic at all.
2300: I get antsy during theory class. “Order us some golf shoes, otherwise we’ll never get out of this place alive. Impossible to walk in this muck. No footing at all.” (Fear & Loathing)
2315: B+ received. Two metaphors used in “serious” paper. Must stop being creative in papers. Gangrene sets in (to brain) and I lose my temper at myself.
2330: On my way back to base, think of an idea for a poem I can’t write. Sarcastic voice in my head says “Oh you thought you could write a poem?! When?! In your spare time?!”
000: Arrive back at base. I should be tired. I’m not tired at all. I have to get up early. Thinking about this makes me less likely to sleep. Repeat cycle. Get 3 hours of sleep full of weird lucid dreams.
1100: Enemy growing by threes for some reason. Trifectas not my specialty. (Odd)
1130: I commute. Still commuting. Still commuting. Still…………zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz….@*%$#* DRIVERS…Still commuting….My windshield gets a crack straight across. I watch this as it happens. Make a mental note that before it’s replaced, I’m going to take a hammer to it for fun/therapy.
1200: Heidegger. Face down in mud (being!) for a few days (time!).
1300: Try really hard to avoid thinking of these upcoming battles. This doesn’t work. Decide to eat candy instead. Tell myself I’ll do extra squats and bridges to make up for this. Won’t happen.
1430: I’m cold but I don’t like wearing coats inside so I’ll just be cold and complain instead. Consider that I might be a reptile. “Season of boogers” will replace “winter” henceforth and I am convinced that men are biologically warmer than women and therefore will never understand our plight.
1530: Last Sour Patch Bunny package stolen and hidden (realized when rustling heard in neighboring cubicle). Punishment for plundering of rations is severe.
1600: “Air raid, freshman!” You won’t get that unless you were a nineties child and if you do, “alright alright alright.” (Dazed & Confused)
1630: Parasite in the trenches. They call it “3-400 pages of reading” and we’re losing soldiers by the day.
1800: Partake in some self-doubt. Quickly get over it. No time for such nonsense.
2000: I’m still cold and so I get soup. I like saying the word “soup.” Soup soup soup. Warmth and happiness abound.
2100: Call in coordinates, another assignment has been added and I don’t have the womanpower, need reinforcements 10-4. Do you copy? *yes we copy soldier that’s a negatory hold your position*
2200: “Reminiscin this & that’n havin such a good time oo-de-lally, oo-de-lally golly what a day” (Roger Miller, from Robin Hood) *Feel free to whistle along, or sing along, like the sing-along-song videos with the little bouncing thing over the words.
2300: White flag waves, but it’s not mine. Sheer endurance, combined with having a sense of humor (default response) has won the day(s).
“Do not hold on to anger, hurt or pain; they steal your energy and keep you from love.” (Unknown)